At least make sure they are 18
Why
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
