I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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