i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
