I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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