I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
