mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
