do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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