Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
