Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
sick fucks of a feather flock together
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
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