How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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