Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
