Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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