so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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