forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
