On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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