My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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