eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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