you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
