I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
