tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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