OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
