my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I'm always down for nudity.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
