I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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