I need help removing her.
i already hear my dad disowning me
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
