Just mADE A PArabola og urine
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
