I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Is Oprah even human
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
