I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
