we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
