Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I'm passing your future prison.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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