So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
