I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Randomize
