bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
