Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
