How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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