READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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