yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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