like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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