sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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