True but thats because hes a fetus.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
