Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
and she was petting her beer can
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
