What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
