he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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