Buhtt sex?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Randomize
