im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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