Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
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