Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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