jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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