Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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