I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
