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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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