hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Randomize
