Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
