are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
