why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize
